By Kevin Timms
Editorials Editor ’04
A-Rod joins the Yankees – Why?!?! The “if you can’t beat ‘em, buy ‘em” method reaches a new height, but is this fair? Many teams couldn’t acquire A-Rod due to his ridiculously large contract, but the Yankees only end up paying him roughly $16 million a season. Hmmm…something is wrong here. How come the Texas Rangers continue to pay a lot of A-Rod’s contract when the Yankees could afford the pay the whole thing? New York definitely bullied the Rangers into basically handing them A-Rod for nothing (I know they got Alfonso “Swing and Miss” Soriano in return, but the Yankees aren’t paying him to play for the Rangers.) So, what is the reason? Maybe Yankees owner George Steinbrenner offered the Rangers’ owner a chance to touch the upcoming Yankees’ World Series trophy. Or maybe the Rangers’ owner received Yankees season tickets, a brand new Bentley, and some of Mrs. Steinbrenner’s homemade cookies. Whatever the case, A-Rod’s trade is reason enough for a salary cap to be implemented into the baseball structure, and for a team other than the Yankees to win the World Series…Go Braves!
Clarett wins lawsuit against NFL – Hypothetically speaking, you’re a 20 year-old running back who has been suspended for legal troubles a year after you helped the Ohio State Buckeyes win a National Championship. Do you: a) accept your suspension and await for reinstatement b) transfer to another school and live up to your freshman year hype or c) think that you’re the best thing since the Pet Rock and cry to the NFL that they’re discriminating by having an age restriction on their possible NFL draftees? If you chose C, you’re Maurice Clarett. So, now that he has won the lawsuit and caused the NFL to lose its age restrictions, my seven year-old neighbor is eligible for upcoming 2004 NFL draft. That’s right…he’s 4’7 and 90 lbs. and has excellent work ethic—all the stats needed for a future NFL superstar. This lawsuit might eventually cause high schoolers to skip college and go straight to the NFL, much like LeBron James and Kevin Garnett in the NBA. I can’t wait to see these high-schoolers on the other end of a Ray Lewis tackle! Breaking news: Kevin X has just sued the NBA for not drafting him because he can’t shoot, pass, play defense, or jump higher than one inch. It’s discrimination!
14 year old girls playing on the PGA tour – Basically, equality in sports is reaching scary new levels. I don’t have a problem with girls playing in the men’s golf tournament, but please make the equality universal—which means I should get an extra two minutes (males have two minutes less than females) in BPE to complete the six lap test. And then…shouldn’t I be able to try out for Girls’ JV soccer and eventually develop my career in the WNBA?
The Atlanta Hawks giving away players – Here’s an idea: let’s trade two of our best players for a troubled starter whose contract expires at the end of the year. Then, let’s trade that player for 3 no-name players and mediocre draft pick. Then let’s trade another good player for two players that aren’t good enough to make any teams and then in turn release one of them. Hint: That’s not how you win games and instill confidence in your fans. Not even Spiderman can save the Hawks from embarrassment.
Barry Bonds in general – After hearing that Barry Bonds severed ties with the Major League Player’s Association, I felt no sympathy for what Bonds had called his negative image portrayed by the media. By severing ties, he basically forces companies to negotiate personally with Bonds over any product they produce. Now, I agree with individual commercials, but when Bonds forces videogame makers to negotiate with him to place him into baseball games, he crosses the line. It should be a privilege to star in the latest Playstation 2 baseball hit. I guess he needs more money because his trainer has been discovered dealing with steroids. How much does the destruction of evidence cost? (On a side note, I have copyrighted my full name, so if any teacher/school uses it on a website or roster then they will need to personally negotiate with me.)
Players without talent that trash talk – The first player that comes to mind is the former (thank God!) Atlanta Falcons cornerback/liability Ray Buchanan, whose only reason for not giving up a big play is that a wide receiver lost concentration (probably laughing at Buchanan’s lack of talent) and dropped the ball. Plus, Buchanan’s only way of stopping a wide receiver from humiliating him in front of fans is to use the unique pass interference method. I know the first amendment guarantees free speech, but the framers really meant that freedom of speech and trash talking is only reserved to those possessing an ounce of credibility.