By Kevin Ewalt
Senior Page Editor ’04

His name is Ryan Peisel, he plays baseball, he’s batting .415 with 74 home runs and 104 RBI’s. and his bowling average is 212.

We caught up with Ryan for this interview, not surprisingly, in Lassiter’s weight room, getting buff for games ahead. The weight room was certainly unsuitable for an interview so we moved to a more hospitable location- the auxiliary gym, which Peisel saw as an opportunity to perfect his basketball game while answering our questions. Almost immediately the conversation turned to the baseball team’s current losing streak. “There is a lot of fight left in us,” Peisel remarked.” As captain of the team, Peisel is keeping the team motivated by “hitting homeruns, stealing bases, and giving wedgies in the locker room.”

Still dribbling the ball around the court, Peisel shot a three. With the clang of the rim still echoing in the background, we moved on to less serious matters. What do you like to do when you’re not playing baseball? “Well, I enjoy eating and sleeping and, of course, riding party buses.”
Just looking at Ryan you might wonder if he has any weaknesses. Truth be told, he tried to think of a few- without success. In contrast, many strengths were recalled, among them: picking up women, baseball, bowling, and the ever-classic game of badminton. He also enjoys baking with his mother Karen during the holidays. In regard to the 2004 presidential election, Ryan thinks Bush will win in a landslide. When asked about his doubts for the haughty, French-looking Massachusetts Democrat, Ryan laughingly remarked that “Kerry has a droopy face like a pug and no one will vote for that.”

As Peisel shot another airball, I asked one last question: If you could be any animal, what would you be and why? “Well,” Peisel said, “I would be an elephant, because they have huge ears, of course, and because they are in the circus. Can you name one person who doesn’t think an elephant is cool? Exactly”. O! Mr. Peisel, how you are my personal savior.