Monthly Archives: April 2004

By Amanda Mull
Staff Writer ’04

You guys are all a bunch of babies. You heard me right. You’re babies. Whiners. Lightweights. Let’s face it: the thing that most of the people at this school do best is get bent out of shape about stuff that doesn’t really matter in the broad scheme of things. Seniors, remember the “walkout” over the administration enforcing dress code our freshman year? What about a friend of mine, who shall remain unnamed, who was upset over the fact that I may or may not have called him slightly “odd” in a previous article? Or on the announcement a few weeks ago when the girls’ soccer players got all huffy about a personal opinion (on girls’ soccer) that one of my, also unnamed, fellow staffers happens to hold and express? Anyone remember last year when the emokids nearly broke down in tears (yes, I thought of that one almost all on my own) over the article by the guy who just didn’t understand their artistic choices or inner pain?
So, to all of those folks, I say: why don’t you cry about it, huh? HUH?

Honestly, do you guys not have enough to occupy yourselves? Do you need hobbies? Or more homework (you can have mine)? Maybe take up a sport? Read a book? Learn to knit? Whatever it is you do with you time, please include one thing: STOP COMPLAINING. And stop being so sensitive. In the long run, what does the school dress code or something that you don’t like in the school newspaper matter? Nothing. That’s right, it doesn’t matter at all. Not in the least. Not a bit.

Why do we get it in our heads that things like those matter? Because we’ve all convinced ourselves that we’re living in The O.C. Everything is high-drama, everything matters, we all look absolutely gorgeous when we worry, and we’ll all have a pretty boy that listens to Death Cab for Cutie (or a pretty girl wearing a Marc Jacobs dress and Manolos) to run to when a big mean bully hurts our precious feelings.

Obviously, this is not reality. We’re a bunch of regular high school kids that take ourselves far too seriously for our own good. The argument can be made that all of the babies out there are just getting a head start on being responsible adults who stand up for themselves and their interests. To put it nicely (and so it can go in the newspaper), I think that’s a load of junk. If you guys don’t put an end to this silliness now, you’re going to be the ones harassing your kids’ teachers because they’re being “unfairly punished with detention” for their 28 tardies in a row.

There’s something to be said for going with the flow. Keep your blood pressure low, keep yourself low-stress, and keep the rest of the people you interact with sane and just let the little stuff roll off your back. So what if someone insulted the sport you play in the paper? Those comments aren’t going to hurt attendance at games or sully the reputation of the team. They’re just off-the-cuff comments that no one should take to seriously; ultimately, they lack impact, except as momentary entertainment. And if someone insults your favorite band? Or the kind of shoes you prefer? Or makes a general negative comment about the eyebrow-plucking method that you tend to use? Please don’t run crying to mommy. We’re all more mature, more adult, and stronger than that. Give yourself the credit you deserve and don’t make yourself look like a baby.
Sticks and stones will break your bones, but words will never hurt you.

By Kelly Zoeckler
Editor-in-Chief ’04

This is not an editorial about abortion, Christianity, conservatism, or Bush. No, friends, I mean to draw your attention to something that, in a perfect world, would be relatively frivolous and about as harmless as William Hung’s record deal. The Don Miller Morning Show appears to be a freshly baked audible treat for loyal listeners of 99x, a radio station-turned-empire that has graced the Atlanta area for over a decade. Along with the induction of the new, ambiguously named morning show (who is Don Miller?), the station has largely revamped itself into a Mecca for “new rock and nineties alternative”- rock adulation in its purest form, right?

Sadly, no. Although I do appreciate that warm, tingly, wow-I-haven’t-heard-this-song-in-forever sensation, 99x’s newest recipe for success calls for a few non-musical ingredients that leave a sour taste in this loyal listener’s mouth. Specifically, Atlanta needs to spit out Fred Toucher, the undisputed star of the morning show, along with his deceptive, agenda-pushing abuse of air waves.

My problem with the show has nothing to do with the “daring” bits (like Fat Kid the intern harassing some anti-abortion protesters); I am not one of those bitter, wrinkle-browed critics who call in to Stern-esque radio shows to complain of inappropriate conduct. Instead, my problem lies entirely in the way our beloved Fred Toucher, made famous for his uncanny ability to make fun of homeless people without letting them realize it, handles the criticism for his show by lashing out at his own listeners.

In response to Toucher’s on-air rantings about “psycho” anti-abortion activists, one particular listener had emailed the show. The letter preached considerably about morality issues associated with abortion and the show’s flagrantly insolent attitude toward it; the author was clearly pro-life, something Toucher is not. Although the text seemed coherent and evident of a decently intelligent author, Toucher proceeded to read the e-mail in the deepest Southern accent imaginable, emphasizing the poorly-worded passages and making it clear to all 99x subscribers that the author of this letter was not only stupid but a stereotypical Southern redneck as well. Then, at one point in the reading, Toucher broke out of his mocking accent, so inspired by the obvious stupidity of this anonymous pro-life advocate, to remind his listeners to please, for goodness sake, “join the ANA” (apparently to join forces against people like the author). What is the ANA? Don’t get me started…

Fine, fine. The ANA (Anti-Neck Army) is 99x’s newest club of sorts. The station’s website (www.99x.com) explains the listener-appreciation attempt better than I can:
…[It’s] clear to us that you, the good people of Atlanta, are sick and tired of backwoods, mouth-breathing, inbred rednecks. Whether they are yelling at you in the Dairy Queen parking lot or talking on 96 Rock they are a definite plague on society. The Don Miller Morning Show wants to put an end to this Camaro-drivin’, Lynyrd Skynyrd-lovin’, cousin-marrying culture and in the process reward our loyal listeners.

Actually, it’s a fine idea. A vast majority of Atlanta’s mentally-stable population would probably agree that stereotypical rednecks are a social problem the South needs desperately to mend. But here’s my question: why would Toucher purposefully hype this anti-redneck organization in the middle of reading an e-mail from a listener whose pro-life agenda opposed Fred Toucher’s? Why, quite obviously because all pro-life advocates are rednecks! They all have thick accents, webbed toes, and Lynyrd-Skynyrd tattoos! I think Toucher’s really onto something…
Give me a break. What I’ve been alluding to here is the fact that the most popular personality on 99x’s morning show has a poisonous tendency to characterize anyone who disagrees with his politics as the type of social miscreants set to be eradicated by his Anti-Neck Army. Directly or indirectly, he consistently classifies people with pro-life, pro-Christianity, or pro-Bush agendas as morons. If this is so, then a lot of 99x’s listeners are morons.

In another showcase of his eagerness to condemn his own listeners, Toucher made fun of listeners who called in to the show in response to his uninformed bashing of Mel Gibson’s “The Passion of the Christ” (he assured us that he doesn’t need to see the movie to know it’s complete trash- debatably true). A listener called in to point out Toucher’s affinity for raising his voice to annoyingly ear-unfriendly levels whenever the topic of Christianity comes up. Predictably, callers like this are met with ridicule; Toucher’s response usually sounds something like, “<in mockingly aghast tone> How dare you call me blasphemous! I am a man of the Lord! It is you who is the sinner! Pray for forgiveness or be condemned!”

Although I have never taped the show to keep a record of Toucher’s outcries (Why should I? I’m a high school kid with nothing to gain from any of this…), I have heard him mock outwardly-Christian listeners enough for me to know that, darn it, this is Toucher’s show, not the listeners’; if you don’t agree with what Toucher says on the show, just bite your tongue while he yells some more. The coolest part is that any callers who annoy Toucher too much can simply be disconnected. On second thought, none of this is too cool, considering Toucher went on national television to defend freedom of speech on the radio. Granted, it is his radio show; however, 99x is a rock station, not a politically-geared AM station. If you’re going to plug your own political values a dozen times during a four-hour period, at least let your attentive listeners contribute a different opinion without being humiliated.

As you might have guessed, Toucher is among the multitude of Americans who can’t stand President Bush. Apparently, this means that we listeners are subject to hear his predictably negative opinion every time the once-reigning Leslie Fram utters the name “Bush” during the news briefs. I don’t really care how Toucher feels about the Bush administration, I just want to be able to get a quick news update on my way to school without having to turn down the volume so that Toucher can rant about how Bush will turn the US into a police state. In addition to the physically annoying way Toucher shrieks out those high-decibel “angry sounds” when he’s beating a topic to death, it must also be said that his Dubya impersonation is totally weak.
All Bush-mocking aside, Toucher often breaks into that thick Southern accent of his when making fun of anyone who disagree with him, even when there is no evidence of his target having an accent at all. Some ultra-Christian lady in Australia thinks she has a statue of the Virgin Mary that weeps blood? Yup, he impersonated her with the accent. The powers that be want to place zero-tolerance policies on explicit radio shows? Oh yeah, they got the accent too.

If, according to Toucher, every moronic person on Earth possesses the classic redneck accent he assigns them, then they all must indeed be enemies of the Anti-Neck Army. Effectively, then, the term “‘Neck” isn’t limited to the stereotypical, web-toed, socially-demented redneck; instead, the ‘Necks include anyone whom Toucher disagrees with, impersonates with a redneck accent, and classifies as a moron.

The ANA (by the way, one exciting perk of membership is a bi-weekly e-mail from Toucher himself), is therefore nothing but a way for Toucher and his cronies to organize listeners into a group that’s more defined by the show’s anti-conservative politics than the solely anti-redneck ideals it claims. This isn’t listener appreciation- it’s listener manipulation, and it sounds a little like bribery.
There is good news, though. Aside from falling victim to Toucher’s own personal breed of political agenda-pushing and becoming one of the thousands of loyal 99x listeners deceived by the ANA’s flimsy message, you’ll also be invited to events like the ANA Barbeque. So it’s not all bad.
The bottom line for non-liberal 99x listeners? You’re more than welcome to listen to the show, but don’t dare submit any response that goes against Toucher’s politics. That is, unless you’re willing to be publicly characterized as a Southern-talkin’ redneck, just like all those darn pro-life and Christian activists. As far as I can see, Toucher’s influence on The Don Miller Morning Show and the implications made about the Anti-Neck Army equate to one disappointing conclusion: 99x’s morning show has become an elitist force that would sooner condemn its own listeners than accept any passionate advocates of a different political orientation.

By Joseph Zollo
<GEEK> Editor ’04

The media center imposes serious restrictions on computer usage

Every day when I walk in to school, I like to avoid the unpleasant social atmosphere of the cafeteria and spend my 20 minutes before first period in the media center doing work and/or studying. Unfortunately, I’m not the only one with that idea. Many students can be found in the media center in the morning, performing a number of tasks, whether it be studying, reading, or doing homework. One would think that a library, or to be more politically correct, Media Center, is a pleasant and resourceful place to go when work needs to be completed. If you’re talking about Lassiter’s Media Center, that thought could not be farther from the truth.

Some students, like myself, often need to use the computer to finish an assignment, gather information, or print something out. With the media center always so full in the morning, it’s hard to find an unoccupied computer. Actually, let me rephrase that, it’s quite easy to find an unoccupied computer, but it is hard to find one that doesn’t have a sign saying “this computer is reserved”. There are roughly THIRTY computers in the media center that bear this sign. I once tried to use a computer that had one of those signs on them; it didn’t take long for me to be scolded by media center personnel. They claim that the computers are reserved for class, which makes absolutely no sense at all. How can computers be reserved for class if school has yet to begin? Is there a magical 0 period that I’m not aware of? I understand that the computers may be reserved later in the day, but how can they be reserved before first period begins. I just can’t think of a logical reason to keep students off those computers in the morning. They’re just sitting there! Forgive me for being so blunt, but I believe that we should be able to make use of the technology that the school provides much less that our parents pay for. Not utilizing those computers is a complete waste of resources, and not only that, it contributes to overall media center congestion. Thirty more people could be on the computers, freeing twenty spaces for students who do not require them.

Students are allowed access to the media center during his or her lunch period, but only on Tuesday and Thursday, that’s only two days out of five, which in my opinion is totally unacceptable. I cannot even say how many times I’ve walked past the media center during my lunch period on Monday, Wednesday or Friday, only to find it totally empty and totally inaccessible to students. Once again, this seems like a total and complete waste of the media center’s resources. It’s things like this that have earned the media center a “look, but do not touch” reputation. Don’t believe me? Look for yourself, the media center is empty most of the time (except on Tuesday and Thursday). We are privleged with top of the line, Pentium 4 computers which remain untouched and useless. The only way for a student to gain access to the media center during their lunch period on a day other than Tuesday or Thursday is to have a note, signed by their teacher, specifically noting what work they plan on doing and if they need internet access, what websites they plan on visiting. Want to do a Google search? Sorry Charlie, because unless a website is specifically noted on your pass, you aren’t allowed there, even if it’s found during a search. Get this: according to the media center personnel, you may only do work for the teacher that writes you the pass to the media center. So let’s say my math teacher writes me a pass to the media center during my lunch period to do some homework, but I finish early and want to do some history work…SORRY, you can’t do that! You’d need a pass from your history teacher authorizing you to work on that. Where is the logic in that rule? The whole idea behind having a media center is to allow students access to its resources, is it not? I fail to see the point of all these restrictions they are imposing upon us. Are we criminals? Are we trying to go to pornographic websites? Are we trying to check our email? No. In the case that a student does try to go to a forbidden site, Cobb County has special software in place that block it out. At this point we should just close off the media center totally, form a barricade around it and setup laser guns to fire at anyone trying to gain entrance.

Many seniors with minimum day are involved with extracurricular activities that involve computer use after school. However, restrictions placed on seniors with minimum day do not allow them to log in to the network during minimum day periods. Logging in during these times will result in an error message saying “User has attempted to login during a restricted login time.” Lassiter is lucky enough to have numerous after school clubs that utilize computer use. Any senior with minimum day is totally shut out. In order to overcome this restriction, a teacher must make a special request and have the media center change the student’s allowable access times. The overall frustration level with this policy is through the roof. Even teachers (although they would never admit to it) must become aggravated. Why restrict the login times for minimum day students when normal students can stay on until 4:30? What sets them apart from students without minimum day? The system that logs students out when they aren’t supposed to be on is far from perfect, it does NOT take into account the many varying schedules we have. There have been many situations where students have been logged off at the end of 5th or 6th period due to this error. This is the absolute worst time to get kicked off, as it is more than likely when you are saving your work. Aside from being logged off the computers, minimum day students can’t access the media center at all. Senior Bobby Beeler is 1st period minimum day, meaning his first class is 2nd period. He once came into the media center during 1st period to do some work. It was completely empty, yet he was still kicked out. No, he wasn’t violating any of the rules, he was simply working on school work – which is what the media center is for, is it not?

Let’s get one thing clear: this has nothing to do with Cobb County’s policies. I am not certain that the current media center personal made these rules, but I am certain that they have the power to change them. After checking with some friends from Pope, Roswell, Sprayberry, Walton, Kell and Kennesaw Mountain High Schools, I was shocked to discover all six offer five day media center access as well as the ability to login whenever they want (no minimum day restrictions). What makes Lassiter so special? Would it be a violation of Cobb County Policy if our media center gave us the freedoms that many other schools have? No.

The point I’m trying to make is clear and simple: the media center imposes too many limitations on students when it comes to computer use. We should be allowed to access the media center’s resources more frequently, as current restrictions allow the bare minimum amount of access time. Two days a week is simply not enough; students should be allowed to access the media center any day of the week during their lunch period (at least when there are no classes in there at the time). Minimum day students should not have to worry about getting logged off at the very end of their last period. Everyone agrees that these policies desperately need to change- soon.

By Matt Speer
Staff Writer ’05

So you think Atlanta is boring? Think again. Beneath all the traffic, smog, and bustle of everyday life lays a vast amount of cultural activity, something from which even high school students shouldn’t exempt themselves.

First there are the museums. If you are in the mood for some new and exciting artwork created by fellow Georgians, you can visit the Museum of Contemporary Art, or MOCA. This museum is one of the first to specifically feature the work of Georgia natives. When there are little children that need to be taken care of, the hands-on children’s museum called Imagine It! is absolutely fantastic. Here, kids have the chance not only to learn but to have fun. Imagine It! strives to “make the line between learning and fun invisible.” And who can forget the High Museum of Art? The leading art museum in the southeastern United States offers African, American, decorative, European, folk, modern and contemporary arts, as well as photography to suit all tastes.

Next there are the musical aspects of downtown Atlanta. The Atlanta Symphony Orchestra is always a treat, and if you want to hear soon-to-be-famous musicians before they hit it big, the Atlanta Symphony Youth Orchestra will be a delight to your ears. The choirs that can be heard in downtown Atlanta include the Gay Men’s Choir and the Robert Shaw Choir. Spivey Hall often houses such choirs in addition to the appropriately dubbed Spivey Hall Children’s Choir. In addition to music for the classically inclined, Atlanta offers a selection of venues that present jazz and rock acts. Blind Willy’s offers live blues/jazz concerts while Dark Horse allows patrons to hear the songs and styles of new bands in the area.

Theatres cover the Atlanta area. From the Alliance to the Horizon, one can find many styles of theatre in the big ATL. The Alliance offers one of the highest artistic standards and is on a mission to create a powerful “experience of shared theatre for diverse people.” The Seven Stages Theatre seeks to offer intellectual plays to all who wish to come. Its international collaboration helps characterize it as one of Atlanta’s most unique theatres. Many more theatres inhabit Atlanta, such as Dad’s Garage and the Fox Theatre, so there are plenty of places to choose from when deciding on a night out on the town.

While visiting all these exciting places, you’re sure to work up an appetite. Don’t worry; Atlanta is filled with a variety of ethnic foods. You can enjoy French food at the Bistro at Andrew’s Square or Thai delights at the Baitong-Thai Restaurant. When you’re in downtown Atlanta, be sure to take advantage of the opportunity to try new and exciting foods.

So if you thought that downtown Atlanta was just a typical crowded metropolitan area, I dare you to step outside the box this weekend, and change your mind. Go make a day of it, and enjoy all the rich cultural aspects of Atlanta.

By Kellie Gerbers
Graphics Editor ’04

If you didn’t catch this year’s Academy Awards presentation, let me sum it up for you: “The Return of the King.” “The Return of the King.” “The Return of the King.” While many viewers seem to grumble over the film’s clean sweep of the gold statues (tying the record at 11 wins in one evening [“Ben Hur,” “Titanic”]), I find it hard to complain. Director Peter Jackson’s final installment in the trilogy based on the popular Tolkien books represents a lifetime achievement for cast and crew members alike. The films themselves took over three years in the making (all three parts of “The Lord of the Rings” were filmed at the same time) and production costs totaled over $180 million dollars. The special effects used to create the films are not only groundbreaking but also visually phenomenal (for example, John Rhys-Davies, who played the dwarf Gimli, was in fact the tallest actor in the film…go figure). The film’s original score (composed by Howard Shore), makeup, film editing, and costumes were just a few other aspects that earned an Oscar, and after watching a behind-the-scenes featurette on the application of hobbit feet, I think the costume department deserved more than just a statue for its efforts. If you have an opportunity to watch any of the special features included on “The Lord of the Rings” DVD’s, I strongly recommend it; the features will give you an enormous appreciation for the work behind the trilogy and show you with several hours of documentation just why “The Return of the King” earned so many prestigious awards.

By Rachel Reinke
A&E Editor ’06

We live in an age when everything from Linkin Park to Pink to Evanescence (for god’s sake) is considered “rock.” Where, I ask you, has it gone? The spirit that embodied “Almost Famous” and the Beatles and Led Zeppelin is tough to find in our market-driven world. Perhaps, then, it should not be quite a surprise that music has taken to retrospect. The latest trend (or at least what makes my ears perk up when I hear it on the radio) is backtracking. Some of the most entertaining and talented bands currently enjoying quality time on the charts take after sounds of the “the day.” You know what I’m talking about, the songs that everyone loves; they’re fun to dance to and sing to, and they really capture said lost spirit. Someone once told me that this was to be expected, that soon we would run out of musical creativity and fall back on old sounds. Why? They are classic, versatile, and, with a new spin, can produce a different, highly pleasurable sound.

Who didn’t jump for joy when they heard “Fell in Love with a Girl” by the White Stripes? Or maybe it didn’t quite sink just yet, and you waited for “Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground” before becoming wholly turned on to this new vogue. By then, you knew “Elephant” was going to be a masterpiece, and you weren’t let down. The White Stripes’s sound was a risk in a manufactured Britney-pop world. Somewhat surprising to some, it was embraced, and suddenly, vintage sounds were popping up everywhere.

The White Stripes’ beginning came about during the time that the Vines and the Hives were battling it out on the airwaves. Their “new” sound (you remember, “Get Free” and “Hate to Say I Told you So”) though not quite as lasting as the Stripes’s, helped open the door and paved the way to an adoring public following with the retro sound. Current MTV staple the Yeah Yeah Yeahs create brilliant music with a lead singer strikingly musically reminiscent of Chrissy Hynde, and you cannot go five minutes on that station without catching a riff of “Maps”. The time these songs spent on the air alone is proof enough: not only do people love the sound, they are desperate for it.

We are tired of drowning in the “new rock” bands heard constantly on 99X: once a week, a new band, a new hit. Played over and over again. Good music is something you don’t really get tired of, something lasting and enjoyable. I don’t know about you, but if I hear “Headstrong” by Trapt, a classified “rock” band, I might have to punch someone in the face.

Thank goodness our world is coming of age and music is becoming more innovative, even if that means drawing from the past. Examples of this are popping up everywhere, from college radio airwaves to MTV. Prime case in point: Jet. In my opinion, one of the greatest new bands today, and what do they sound like? Similar choice, garage harmonies that are deliciously catchy and perfectly irresistible.

The truth is that we are ready for a change. We were ready when the Strokes took to the streets with “Last Nite” and stayed on to become critically acclaimed with their latest record, “Room on Fire.” Now albums with the rekindled sound are eaten up by critics and listeners alike. Ryan Adams’ newest, coincidentally, “Rock N Roll,” along with his “Love is Hell” EPs have been accepted with open arms into the Indie world, even if he’s taken advantage of the trend and is slightly grungier and less Whiskeytown than his previous works.

The spirit skeptical music lovers were so quick to brand as absent has merely been hiding out. Bands like the Strokes, Jet, and the White Stripes have taken it upon themselves to remind America and the rest of the world what music is really all about—good rock and roll.

By K.C. Georges
A&E Editor ’06

Before you go out on Friday night and spend eight bucks on a movie you don’t even want to see, take a look at what other smaller films are playing around town. Recently, the entertainment industry has seen a huge rise in popularity of small and independent films. As one of the bigger cities in the country, Atlanta is lucky enough to receive a sizable number of these lower-budget pictures.

Local theaters like Barrett Commons and Town 16 normally have films with bigger buzz. The little seen “Monster,” which features Charlize Theron in her Oscar award-winning role, is one of these movies and was filmed in just 27 days. “Girl with a Pearl Earring,” another critically-acclaimed yet largely un-hyped film, tells the tale behind Vermeer’s mysterious painting of the same name. It also features the breakout actress of the year Scarlett Johansson.

Atlanta also boasts theaters that show small films almost exclusively. United Artists’ Tara Theatre is a great place to find movies that you won’t get to see anywhere else. Right now it houses not one but two movies that everyone should see. “In America” is the critically-acclaimed tale of an immigrant Irish family in the 1980s. “The Cooler” features William H. Macy as a man who’s unlucky at cards until he finds himself lucky in love, and the movie features Oscar-nominated Alec Baldwin as his violent and domineering boss.

If you don’t feel like driving all the way out to a movie theater, your local Blockbuster is also a great place to find the movies that you never saw or didn’t come to theaters here. Gems like “Lost in Translation,” a film that didn’t need a huge budget or months of filming to be absolutely wonderful, and “American Splendor,” a picture about which critics couldn’t find a bad thing to say, are easy to find at video stores thanks to great reception after their releases. You can also find unknown documentaries like “Capturing the Friedmans” and limited release features like the emotionally draining “21 Grams.”

So please, please, please seek out some indie films. They’re treasures buried among the mounds of plotless and pointless big-budget productions, and I promise you they’ll be ten times better than “Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights.”

By Darah Protas
Staff Writer ’06

Considering the many students who participate and the countless hours it consumes of their time each week, dance does not often receive the recognition it deserves. Dance has not weaseled its way into the “sports” category like cheerleading. But, it is not exactly an art either. Sophomore Danielle Berke (for more see p. 10) sums it up best, “Dance is a physically active art. I don’t think there are a lot of things that approach the same level as dance, furthermore ballet. There are a lot of things that go into being a convincing and captivating dancer. It has to be athletic and artistic at the same time.”

Ballet is the basis of dance. While some Lassiter dancers take an hour or two of ballet a week for technique, others may spend up to 10 times that amount per week in ballet.

Sophomore Kaylee Niemassik dances at Georgia ballet. She also averages about 20 hours a week and takes ballet, point, modern, pilates, and some partnering. This year, she performed in Swan Lake and Nutcracker with the Georgia Ballet professional company, and Continuum, a tribute to the director. In the summer, Kaylee takes a 5 week intensive, a 1-week overnight-camp, and 4 days a week of morning and afternoon classes with the professionals in between. She says that she would “love to join a professional company while I’m in college, balancing both schedules at the same time, and continue with ballet until it wasn’t practical anymore or if I had an injury.”
On the other side of the dance world, there are competitive studios. Tight, skimpy costumes, covered in glitter and rhinestones are perfectly acceptable, if not expected. Rhythm Dance Center and Centre Stage School of Dance are just two of the many competitive studios that train Lassiter students.

Freshman Nicole Blochinger is in Senior Danceline at Rhythm Dance Center. This year, Senior Danceline went to 3 competitions, 2 festivals, 1 convention, and took 2 guest classes by dancers who choreograph for J.Lo, Christina Aguliera, P. Diddy, and Justin Timberlake. Nicole takes 1 ballet, 1 jazz, and 1choreography class a week at Rhythm. In addition to that, she also dances at John Robert Powers, a talent, modeling, and acting school 3 times a week which adds up to about 12 hours of dance a week. This July, Nicole is going to New York for a competition. After high school, she says she wants to “Join a dance alliance and travel around. But I’ll definitely go to college.”
Sophomore Claire Richie dances at the Centre Stage School of Dance in Senior 2 jazz company and Senior 1 tap company. At Centre Stage, Claire takes ballet and pointe, jazz, tap, and super production which is a big production dance with everyone in all the companies in it. At Centre Stage, she performs 4 dances at each of the 7 to 8 competitions a year as well as company show and recital. Claire also dances for the dance ministry at Johnson Ferry Baptist Church where they dance a more lyrical and conservative style at the big church productions like “The Easter Story.” The dance ministry will also be dancing on choir tour this year when they travel to Poland.

Although this physically active art is often lost between the recognition of band and football, keep an eye on Broadway because Lassiter holds dozens of great dancers.

By K.C. Georges & Rachel Reinke
A&E Editors ’06

Books

My Losing Season by Pat Conroy. Pat Conroy is a senior at The Citadel in Charleston, South Carolina. It’s his last season as a basketball player and he’s faced with a terrible coach and a team full of foulmouthed cadets. The story of his life and ability to learn from loss make this book hard to put down. If you haven’t yet: The Prince of Tides, The Great Santini, and The Lords of Discipline also by Pat Conroy.

Girl, Interrupted by Susanna Kaysen. This is the real account of the author who ends up in a mental institution after attempting suicide at age 18. While she is there she encounters people of all kinds, many of which become her friends: from Polly, the cheerful burn victim, to the mysterious sociopath Lisa. Also check out: Asa, as I Knew Him and The Camera My Mother Gave Me, both by Susanna Kaysen.

Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris. This autobiography of the hilarious David Sedaris presents his mastery of learning the English language, living in France, and trying many different occupations, with amusing outcomes from each. David Sedaris’s life story is, in a word, unconventional, and keeps the entertainment coming throughout his explorations. Also by David Sedaris: Naked, Barrel Fever, and Holidays On Ice.

High Fidelity by Nick Hornby. The English author of About A Boy tells the story of a middle-aged record shop owner and his crazy antics to win back the girl who changed his life. Just trying to interpret the funny British slang is amusing enough. It’s Chock full of cynically hilarious observations on life, music, and love that only Nick Hornby can provide. If you like it: About A Boy, How to Be Good, and Fever Pitch, also by Nick Hornby.

The DaVinci Code by Dan Brown. This international murder mystery has quickly taken readers everywhere by storm. It’s hard to go anywhere without hearing its eternal praises, and it will surely be gracing the reading lists of many pool-goers this summer. It is a fascinating and page-turning thriller, sure to keep you guessing until the very last page. Also recommended: the prequel, Angels and Demons, which helps for more thorough understanding of the next book.

Movies

Anything by Cameron Crowe. Particularly Say Anything… , Jerry Maguire, and Almost Famous for their wonderful stories and believable characters. All of these are tales about love whether it is for an unreachable girl, a job worth doing, or music at a time when it really meant something.
One Crazy Summer. This is the perfect movie to get you into a summer mood and really light fare after killing your brain studying for exams. It boasts a very young and oh so adorable John Cusack as the main character in Nantucket for the summer. Not to mention some rockin’ songs by Demi Moore. Okay, so whenever Demi Moore comes on I tend to mute the TV, but Cusack, Bobcat Goldthwait, and Curtis Armstrong (better known as Booger from Revenge of the Nerds) more than make up for it.

High Fidelity. And now, for the older better version of John Cusack. If you have yet to see this movie, rent it. Rent it now! Not only does it have a great story line, brought to life from Nick Hornby’s novel, it has a tremendous soundtrack. The movie centers around Rob and his unsuccessful love life. As his latest relationship ends, he gives us a countdown of his all time top 5 breakups. Imagine how great this is, and then, add in Jack Black and Mr. Bruce Springsteen. It’s definitely made my top 5 favorite films.

Kill Bill Volume 1. I know, I know I write about Quentin Tarantino a lot, but I just love it when I find a film that is able to be different and completely pull it off. The story’s crazy, the amount of blood completely absurd, the retro girl group a little annoying, but it’s all these things plus insanely great fight sequences and an eclectic soundtrack that make the movie great. There might not have been the trademark dialogue that we’re promised in a Tarantino picture, but my guess is that Volume 2 will make up for all that and more.

Donnie Darko. Ah, the thinking indie movie. Wondered when I’d get to this one, huh? I promise this is one you’ll like. It’s funny and dark and it’s got a huge demonic robot bunny. Who could want anything else? In all seriousness, it is a terrific film that really toys with your mind in a good way. It throws questions out there that other movies don’t go near.

 
By Charles Coxe
Guest Writer

Okay, what the heck is wrong with you people?

Yeah, I’m talking to you, Lassiter seniors: In a few short months, your entire illustrious high school career will be the stuff of memory. What will you remember? The time you completely forgot to study for your geometry final and tried to avoid it by hiding in the elevator? The time you had the stomach flu and “didn’t quite make it” to the bathroom in time? The time Megan called you a “complete and total loser who still sleeps with his blankie” and dumped you in front of an enraptured lunchroom? No, you’ll eventually forget all of that, with the help of thousands of dollars of therapy, of course. (Except you, Megan—I will NEVER forgive you. But I digress.) What you’ll REALLY remember are the amazing senior pranks you pulled before you strolled out the door for the last time…except you haven’t pulled a single one. You guys are pathetic. Pardon my French, but D’où part le bateau? (Translation: “Where does the boat leave from?” Sorry, I don’t speak much French.)

Who am I to throw around such school-newspaper-censored diatribes? Well, by your standards, I’m an old man. A former Lassiter High School senior myself, I graduated in 1993. Now I’ve gone on to better-paying but possibly even more juvenile things, working at Maxim magazine for the past 6 1/2 years, where I’m now Executive Editor. But back in my day (dear God, I AM an old man…), we followed the tradition of senior pranks as if it were a hallowed religion, taking it upon ourselves to outdo the classes that came before us. Sure, I’m bragging, but our greatest hits included:

•The obligatory purchase of vast numbers of crickets and setting them loose in the gymnasium.

•The specifically Southern tradition of procuring a swine, greasing it up real good, and setting it loose in the halls for administrators to repeatedly but unsuccessfully attempt to tackle, with comic results on a par with the Three Stooges.

•Weekly Friday food fights in the lunchroom.

•Supergluing whole banks of lockers shut.

•The bad idea: Dumping a large amount of vegetable oil on the floor of Skylight Hall. Not only was it just a physical hazard with no creativity behind it, but it was easy for the perpetrators to get caught, as they found it impossible to run away on their oil-slicked floor.

•My personal favorite: The night before second semester (when students would drive in early the next morning to locate their new numbered parking spots), we went around both the front and back lots and painted black over the numbers. The next morning, the lot was a hopeless traffic jam as no one had any clue where they were supposed to park, and classes had to be delayed to accommodate it. It was a work of brilliance, and I’m proud to take responsibility for it. (That’s right, Officer Pelfrey! Whatcha gonna do about it now, big guy? Huh?)

But I’m not really here to gloat. I’m here to help you, the class of 2004, rise up and take the cake as the best pranksters in the history of Lassiter High School. A tough task, to be sure, but the good news is that you guys still have over three good months to put every previous class to shame, both in quantity and quality. Here are a few ideas. I’m not saying you have to do them all, I’m just putting them out there. Some are easy, and some are quite a bit more involved. Just don’t tell anybody you got them from me.

•On February 23rd, all seniors run a lap around the school between 1st and 2nd period.

•On March 5th, everyone set their watch alarms and cell phones (and any battery-powered travel alarms) to go off at precisely 10:14 am.

•Whistle the first ten notes of “It’s a Small world After All” every ten minutes. I guarantee at least one teacher will go insane before the day is through.

•Along the same line, repeat the following conversation 10 times with the same teacher:
“Do you hear that?”
“What?”
“Never mind, it’s gone now.”

•Buy or create a set of small round stickers with numbers on them. Then go into the elevator and carefully re-label the buttons according to a plausible but incorrect schema. While you’re at it, switch the “Door Open” and “Door Close” buttons, and replace “Emergency Stop” with “Shear All Cables” or “To the Batcave!”

•When no one’s looking, remove the paper tray from a photocopier or laser printer and, with a red marker, scrawl the word “Satan” on several sheets at random. Reinsert tray.

•Procure a parrot or cockatoo and train it to say “Little Jimmy’s been bad and needs a spanking” or “There are no time outs in the world of professional wrestling” or “Pat Sajak is Lord.” Then release said bird in skylight hall, and let the endless squawking announcements begin.

•Print up 50 flyers: “Free Pizza! Just come to Principal Carter’s office today between 3rd and 4th period to fill out a five question survey.” Paste them all over the school.

•Secretly hook your teacher’s computer power cable up to a clapper. Just as he/she’s finishing typing up the next test, slap your hands together.

•Write the word “TAG” on a sheet of paper. Walk up to a random senior in the hall, hand him the paper, say “you’re it,” and run. This should continue all day.

•Underclassmen are so exhilarated by the prospect of free food, they’ll eat anything. So head to the lunchroom, set up a small table, and under the pretense of having a bake sale for a student organization or running for some ridiculously transparent resume-padding student council office, set up a platter of your own homemade goodies: birdseed bells, dead “candy” grasshoppers, pork fat, globs of peanut butter wrapped in fish skin…you get the idea. Don’t forget the frilly toothpicks. Feeling truly adventurous? Take this to 11 and commandeer an entire lunch line for this purpose.

That should at least be a good starting point for you. Use your imagination, keep the pranks funny and creative, and you’ll do just fine. And remember, despite what you get told when you inevitably get called down to the principal’s office to account for your prankster behavior, you actually WILL amount to something someday—you know a former Lassiter grad who does this kind of stuff for a living.